Her secret
by Saaabric
Summary: Sare leaves to LA when she found out something that would change her life forever. GSR. This is my first CSI fanfic so please be kind!
1. Chapter 1

Sara knew she had to leave. Even if she thought it was the best thing she could do for them, there was a part of her which thought it was not fair. Many moments spent together were which gave her the option to think he didn't want this. He didn't want this kind of responsibility for them. Although she tried to deny the fact she could not change anything, these three months since she found out had been hell. She didn't think that an abortion was an option because she wanted this kid more than she can ever admit. She believed it could be magical, sweet and pure to have a baby with him, but as a matter of fact she knew he didn't believe the same.

_FlashBack_

_She was lying in bed resting her head on his chest, just watching a movie. They'd been together for an entire year and there was something going through her mind very often. "Would you want to have kids?" she asked with hope in her voice. All the time they had spent together and yet she didn't know the answer. _

"_I don't think so. I don't need that kind of responsibility now in my life. Why? Would you want to have kids?" he asked worried. There was an expression on his face which she had never seen before. It was full with panic. Instead of answering, she turned to face the wall. It was the last time they talked about it. _

_End of FlasBack._

She had made up her mind now, she decided that the best thing she could do for them was moving to LA. Because if she stayed, she would not allow herself to see how the man she loves is refusing to have this baby, the baby she already loves. So she packed her things from their apartment and bought a passport to LA. She knew it would be hard to live in a different place where there were different customs.

She would hate to say goodbye to Nick and Greg. They grew closer with the passing of the time. She would miss them a lot. She would miss Greg's stupid comments; she would miss the support that Nick gave her. There were a lot of things that she would miss, but she needed to do this in order to win the respect that her baby and she deserved.

She panicked when she found out she was pregnant three months ago. A part of her was very afraid but the other part was extremely happy. She started to cry when she faced the reality that Grissom didn't want this for them. Or at least for him. But she would not give her baby away because he didn't want to have a real life. That was when she remembered how he was. She had to admit that she loved him, and she would not change any moment they spent to together for anything. She also had to remember that thanks to him she was now pregnant. He was her baby's father after all.

She sat on a bench in the middle of the airport waiting until her flight was announced. There were a lot of couples holding their kids and babies. There were some others alone. This was making her think which the life she really wanted for her was. The life of the people who were just walking alone? Or the life of the couples holding their kids?

She placed a hand on her still flat stomach and smiled. There was life inside of her. That was when she realized what she wanted. She wanted a family surrounded by love and happiness. Something she would not obtain if she stayed. If she stayed, she would obtain a family with a husband who didn't want to have kids. She would go to LA and go on.

It was hard to leave, knowing that the only man she has ever allowed herself to fall in love with was staying here. He had brought her happiness and joy that never knew that existed. Something different, something no-one had ever given her before. And she had given him something different as well. Something which changed him in a way no-one had ever done.

"_This is the last call for flight number 123 with the destination to LA."_ A voice said. That was what brought her back to reality once again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Declaimer: Not mine. I only own the baby and the obstetrician!!**

**A/N: I'm sorry I haven't written any author's note on the previous chapter, I completley forgot about that! Since this is my first CSI fanfic I was looking for a beta or a writting partner. I will loved if someone would like to be my partner. **

**Hope you like this chapter and please review. Don't be rude! LOL**

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As she entered her plane which would lead her to another life, a completely different life, she remembered the letter she had written to Grissom on her last day in LV.

_Dear Gil,_

_If you are reading this letter is because I'm already on the plane. I'm so sorry I left without saying goodbye in person; I know you would be probably angry with me for leaving. But believe me, it was the best thing I could do._

_Believe me, it was not easy to leave and it was something I decided three months ago. I just stayed because I thought that maybe I would feel different. I can't tell you the real reason why I'm leaving, please forgive me. I will miss you more than you can ever imagine, don't ever doubt that. _

_There's a part in life where you need something else. Something for what you will wake up every morning. You gave me life again, something I can't explain with words and I will love you forever for that. _

_Please don't try to call me or anything, don't make this harder than it already is. I hope that in some time I would be able to visit you again. _

_Love,_

_Sara. _

Tears fell from her eyes as she remembered the letter. Memories of both of them, every moment they spent together, every kiss they sheared, every hug, every night together, appeared in her mind. She couldn't believe she was leaving.

She closed her eyes and rested her head on the side window as the plane started its journey. She smiled when she remembered the first time she had seen him, she could not believe she was now having a baby with him. With the man who she had seen for the first time in a class. It was fate, she would say.

A couple of hours later, she was standing in the streets of LA. She would stay in a friend's apartment. They had decided to swap apartments, since her friend was going to live in LV for a couple of years and Sara needed a place to stay far away from LV. Luckily it was not a huge apartment, because she would need somewhere comfortable.

It took her like a whole month to re-arrange the place. She made some changes with the furniture and the walls. It was more like Sara's style now. She looked for a calmer job since she was pregnant and wanted to be the calmer as possible. There was a small library which was looking for an assistant. So she thought it would be a nice opportunity, because she loved to read and she would be calm and with time to rest.

She kept in contact with Nick and Greg. Firstly with e-mails, but later with phone calls. They couldn't believe she was pregnant and both agreed to visit her in a couple of weeks. The three of them were very close friends and they really took care of one another.

Today was a very special day for both, Sara and her baby. Because today would be the day when she would know the sex of the baby. She really wanted a girl, but she would be okay with a boy anyways. She was eating her favorite ice-cream inside the library. She had a very warm relationship with the owners of the library. It was very odd, because they were a couple which was expecting their first child and the woman was also 4 months pregnant.

She asked for a break to go to her obstetrician. His name was Adam Huggs and was a very respectable professional. But the most important thing was that he was very sweet. She laid in the stretcher and watched as the doctor put a liquid on her stomach. She could see her baby in the screen. Her vision became blurred because of her tears and the doctor simply smiled "Mommy, you're having a beautiful baby girl," he announced and she started to cry. Just then her cell phone started to ring.

"I'm sorry Adam," she excused herself and picked up. "Yes?" she asked although she already knew who was calling her.

"Hi baby!" Nick and Greg said at the same time. She smiled thinking about how they remembered she would be with her obstetrician right now to know the sex of the baby.

"I'm having a girl guys!!" she shouted to her cell phone and the three of them started to laugh with happiness. Nick hugged Greg for a while until they resumed their conversation.

"So when are we going to LA?" Greg's voice sounded from the other line. He sounded so excited and happy to know she was having a girl. They missed their best friend a lot. They wanted to see her soon.

"Next week?" she asked and the shouted the answer 'Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' she was so happy to have such friends as they were. They were always taking care of her and checking if she was alright now she was in LA.

They yet needed to have a very serious conversation.

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**Merry Christmas for everyone!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Declaimer: not mine!! happy now?? LOL. i only own the baby, the obstetrician and the library owners!!!**

**A/N: Here's chapter three, I hope you like this one guys. I am still looking for a writting partner, so if you'd like to concider just tell me:) I really appreciate all your reviews and encouragment, please keep the reviews going!**

**Love**

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Knowing she was having a baby girl was making her very anxious and happy about having a baby. Deep inside her heart she knew she was being selfish, because her baby deserved to have a father, even if he was a father who didn't want to have kids. She deserved to have one, who ever he was. She didn't want her daughter to grow up without a father. She only hoped to be able to meet him again, after some time. 

She missed Greg and Nick so much. She was happy that they were visiting her within three days. She was getting anxious, even more anxious now she was pregnant. They had never asked who the father was and she was sure that they were going to ask her once they were in LA.

While she was reading a book inside the library, she experienced something beautiful. Something she would never be able to describe, something which filled her with joy and life. It was the first time in four months she has been pregnant that she felt her baby move inside of her. A tear fell from her eyes as she imagined how she would be. She was now showing a little bit; she placed a hand on her stomach and smiled with happiness.

Anna, the owner of the library walked near Sara and took her hand in hers and placed it on top of her stomach. "It is the first time that I feel she's moving," the crying woman announced. She smiled and laughed at the idea that she has just experienced the same. Anna knew she had, they were very similar- both were four months pregnant, both were having a girl and both experienced the same.

Her husband walked in interrupting Sara's thoughts. "Hey Sara, here are two men who claim to know you," he told her and she let out a small sigh. She knew too well who they were. She knew without seeing them that they were there.

She stood in front of them without moving. They were the ones who neared her and hugged her tightly. They had missed her so much this month. They needed to talk a lot, to interchange talks and gossips. Anna's husband appeared and witnessed the hug "Take the day off Sara," he told her and with that the three of them walked to her apartment.

Their walk was in silence because they knew they were going to have a lot of time to talk. The three sat on the couch and stared into each others eyes for a couple of minutes. "How have you been this whole month lady?" Greg asked smiling. He had been so in love with her the day he met her. She still was as beautiful as he remembered. But time passes by and he learnt how to let her go and just be friends.

"I've been pretty good. I've been bust re-arranging the apartment, working in the library, resting…" there was something going on her mind which she didn't want to ask, she didn't want to sound too interested. As a matter of fact, she was the one who decided to walk away from her previous life.

She didn't have to ask what she wanted. Nick was the one who could read her like a book. He could read every expression she made, every thought that she thought. It was amazing what he could see. "He had asked about you, he wanted to know how you were. He had closed even more when you left," Nick finally said and she let out a soft sigh. She hated him for knowing what she wanted to hear.

"Did you tell him where I am?" Sara asked. She was not ready to let Grissom know where she was. She was not ready to face him if he dared to visit her, what he would not do, of course. She wanted to know how much he had missed her.

"I didn't tell him where you were, I didn't tell him you were pregnant. I only told him you were okay. He needed to know that," Both Greg and Nick didn't need her to tell them who the father was. They already knew who he was. They made a pause to their conversation, but both thought she was being unfair with him.

"You're are probably wondering why I ran away. It was not easy for me to leave a life I had created there in LV, he didn't want to have kids and I did want. Does he know that you guys are with me right now?" she had to wipe a tear away from her eyes. How could it cause so much pain to talk about him?

"Yes, he does," Greg answered. "I think we should take a break with this subject for a while, okay?" he asked and she just nodded "Nick is dating someone, Sally, she's gorgeous. Believe me, she is."

Nick smiled and laughed "She's a good woman and I asked her to move in with me a couple of weeks ago. It's getting serious Sara; I think she's the one," he blushed when he finished his sentence. He stood up and sat next to his friend. He placed a hand on her stomach and smile "How's my little one?"

"She's getting bigger and bigger every day. Today was the first day I felt her inside of me," Greg stood up as well and sat on the other side, next to Sara.

"How are you going to call her, baby?" Greg asked. She had been thinking about a name and there was one which she liked a lot. It was simple and beautiful.

"I think I'm going to name her Marjorie," she whispered to her friends. They had disagreements in a couple of things as everyone has, but yet she could feel they were taking care of her.

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